tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 6, 2013 9:30pm-10:01pm PDT
>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live: game night," presented by skype. tonight, will smith and shaquille o'neal versus a 2-year-old in "clash of the titus." now at the buzzer, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us for our game one "game night" special. and i want to say i give a special thanks to our friends at samsung mobile. thanks to them, this show tonight is brought to you almost commercial-free. we'll only stop for one break tonight. and the rest of the time, i'm just going to sit here and stare at you in a weird way.
[ laughter ] tonight is game one of the nba finals, the san antonio spurs visit the miami heat. game one is important because historically the winner of game one goes into game two having won the first game. [ laughter ] the heat went seven games with the pacers, where as the spurs swept the grizzlies in four and earned nine days off as a result. and rest is good, but sometimes too much rest works against a team. spurs guard tony parker, for instance -- now, this is tony from game four. and this is tony after ten days off. [ laughter ] see? his jersey literally exploded when he put it on. there was a funny moment during game seven on monday. heat forward shane battier rode the bench during that game, but he made himself useful anyway by -- watch him here just behind lebron james. he decided to towel lebron off. [ laughter ] lebron's deep in thought, so shane mops him. that's what you do when you have an endorsement deal with bed bath & beyond i guess. [ laughter ] i don't know why i love that. but i have an idea how we can make that clip better. show that again. now -- we'll play it in slow motion.
[ laughter ] isn't that lovely? and look at norris cole in the back there. [ cheers and applause ] he's looks like the manager of a car wash training a new employee. "hey, man, you missed a spot above" -- see, that, to me, is what you call teamwork. it really is. [ laughter ] this is pretty funny. a spurs fan from san antonio, a guy named dan earle, made an unusual agreement with his girlfriend, his mother and his sisters. he said that if the spurs made it into the finals, he would let them wax his chest hair into the shape of the spurs' logo. now, i don't know why dan made this agreement, but he did, and then, this happened. >> oh, god. ah! ow! ow! get it off me! aw! ow!
stop! >> come on! >> no!>> come on! >> come on! stop! >> ied shortly after that video was shot. [ laughter ] this, by the way, was the final . well, at least he looks great. [ laughter ] you might want to throw some wax on that face, too. [ laughter ] he's like a -- more hair than "teen wolf" there. [ laughter ] and you know, during a time like the nba finals, it can seem -- especially in the cities that are hosting the games, like the whole nation is following the series closely. but the truth is it's not necessarily the case. most people don't know what's going on. or, for some reason, they like to pretend they do. so, we stopped people outside our theater on hollywood boulevard today to ask them how they think the lakers are going to do in the finals. [ laughter ] now, the lakers aren't in the finals. they were eliminated in the first round. but that did not dissuade any of these people, who identified
themselves as lakers fans, from agreeing that they were in this very special basketball edition >> what is your name, and where are you from? >> my name is adil, and i'm from miami. >> and are you excited that the lakers have made it into the finals? >> yeah. actually, i love the lakers. i just moved to l.a. recently, and i love to see kobe bryant shoot his threes and -- and his crossover and fadeaway. >> so, you're excited that they're playing your home team, the heat? >> yeah. >> you're from miami? >> yeah. >> so, will you be going to any of the games? >> yeah, hopefully, if miami comes here, yeah. >> are you excited that the lakers have made it into the finals? >> yeah. yeah. >> where were you when you found out? >> umm -- i was, uh, at home. >> who were you with? >> i was just, uh, with my family. >> were they all excited? >> um, yeah. half of them were passed out
drunk so, yeah. >> are you excited about the lakers making it into the finals? >> yeah, super-excited. >> did you watch game one last night? >> i didn't. >> are you going to watch it tonight? >> yes. for sure. >> do you think the lakers are going to win the stanley cup? >> i think so. i mean, i don't -- i mean, i think that's, like, the championship thing, so, yeah. >> yeah. >> if they win, yeah, they'll take it. >> and are you excited that the lakers have made it into the finals? >> hell yes. i love the lakers. >> and where were you when you found they made it? >> l.a., baby. whoo! where was i? probably getting drunk somewhere. at the bar. >> were you surprised that the lakers made it into the finals? >> not really. they have a really solid team, very strong composition, and i feel like that they play quite well. >> and even despite the fact that they were eliminated earlier in the season? >> no, not really. >> yeah. >> that doesn't affect it? >> not really. i don't know. i just feel like they would come back, you know, get the composure going. >> so, they can be eliminated and come back? >> well, like, any team can be eliminated and come back, as long as they get their act together. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: see that, lakers? don't give up yet. [ cheers and applause ]
it's just fine. now, we have a shorter show than we usually do, but it is jam-packed with fun tonight. will smith is backstage right now. [ cheers and applause ] he might even come out. and 2-year-old trick shot titus is here with us tonight. that is titus. his parents posted this video online. he's a very good shooter, but can he outshoot one of the all-time greats? none other than shaquille o'neal is here -- [ cheers and applause ] -- to do battle with little titus in what we call "clash of the titus." you know all those years you always said a 2-year-old could shoot free throws better than shaq? well, tonight, we're going to find out if that is true. and we have a new show for you at our regular time tonight. we'll be joined by jonah hill. oh, the national spelling bee champion is here. i am going to face off against him, he's 15 years old. we'll have music from the lonely island with alanis morissette, and the latest installment of our hit reality show, "the baby
bachelor," so stay up for that. guillermo, are you going to stay up for that? >> yes, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, many nba players get superstitious before games, and one player -- excuse me. that is probably my mom. [ laughter ] my mother calls me every night during the commercial breaks to see how everything is going. hang on a second, mom. but thanks to the good folks at samsung mobile, our show is almost commercial free. give me a second. hey, mom? hi. yeah, we're actually in the middle of the show. [ laughter ] why would i lie about that? no, we really are. here, let me use my samsung galaxy s4 to take a picture of myself and the audience at the same time so you can see. smile, everyone! that's nice. thief! he stole my phone! let's get him!
we're going to need backup! oh, good! it's the "price is right" audience! >> all: plinko! >> jimmy: get him! get him! >> ah! ah! >> jimmy: thanks for coming on down, guys. you, my friend, are under audience arrest. ow! ow. unmask him. >> no, don't. oh, god. >> all: john krasinsky! >> yes. >> jimmy: john. why? >> because i really want that phone. >> jimmy: i mean why did you bite me on the hand? >> because you taste like pizza.
>> jimmy: you disgust me. >> i disgust myself. >> jimmy: come on, guys. >> oh, jimmy? >> jimmy: what? >> i recorded some really great slow-mo, high-def footage of the chase on the phone. >> jimmy: oh. i appreciate that. >> no problem. >> jimmy: come on, guys. thank you guys so much. thanks. [ cheers and applause ] i'll call you back, okay? all right. mom, i have to go. yeah, no, a guy stole the phone. do you understand? all right. thank you. our guest tonight is one of the biggest movie stars on this and several other planets. he is a grammy-winning recording artist whose parents never really understood. his new movie is called "after earth." >> now, i am giving you an order -- to turn around and
return to this ship. >> you wouldn't give any other ranger that order! >> you are not a ranger. and i am giving you that order. >> you're wrong! i'm not a coward! you're the coward! i am not a coward! >> kitai. >> jimmy: please welcome will smith! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> hey! >> jimmy: how you doing? >> whoa.
>> jimmy: welcome, welcome. >> thanks, sir. >> jimmy: how are you? >> what's up, man? >> jimmy: how you doing? >> hey! [ cheers and applause ] yeah! >> jimmy: wow. well, they're excited. >> very excited. >> jimmy: you're very low energy today. is something wrong? >> this is fantastic, man. >> jimmy: it's great to have you on. you've never been on the show before. >> i know. i mean, i don't know what you're thinking. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're from west philadelphia, born and raised. >> west philadelphia, born and raised. >> jimmy: as we know. as we know. >> yep. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so, you're a 76ers fan. >> absolutely. my entire life -- philadelphia 76ers. >> jimmy: favorite player? >> favorite player -- dr. j. julius erving. >> jimmy: of course. it has to be dr. j. >> absolutely, yeah. dr. j. no, it was, you know, growing up in philly and doc and specifically, 1983, that's when we won the championship. we won it all, you know. and just doc was my guy, man.
i really, like, modeled how i wanted to be after julius erving. >> jimmy: did you have an afro? >> oh, come on, man. i had the afro, you know. the high socks. >> jimmy: yeah, the high socks. >> you know. well, he had the short shorts where you could just about see the crease, you know. [ laughter ] them old-school shorts. >> jimmy: you're >> jimmy: you're one of the owners of the team now. >> yeah, that was interesting. yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's got to be the greatest thing ever, right? >> it was fantastic. we got in with the ownership group and a bunch of guys came in and they asked me if i wanted to be a part, so -- two years ago, we purchased the philadelphia 76ers. dude, let me tell you -- your hometown team, and i remember the first day, you know, the deal went through, and we walked into the game, and just as, you know, i was that little boy again, walking into that arena and they put up the picture and announced that we were part of the ownership group for the team. and you know, i got a little misty. i got a little misty. i got a little misty.
>> jimmy: yeah. and then you fired eight people on the way in. [ laughter ] philadelphia's a tough town. now that you're one of the owners of the team, do the fans get on you? >> you know, no, because, like, when you're the owner of a team, you have rules, right? because, you know, you're an owner, you love your team, but you like other players and other teams and stuff like that. >> jimmy: i've seen you at lakers games. >> yeah, you know. but when you're an owner, you know, you can't do that, man. >> jimmy: you can't do that anymore. that's right. >> and i remember, miami was in town, you know, so lebron came up. "hey, what's up?" and i gave him a pound. you could hear the crowd go -- [ groans ] hey, hey! i was like, i know him from other stuff! i know him from -- actually, i like him. i was like, get out my face, lebron. >> jimmy: what did they want you to do? punch him in the throat or something? i mean, really. now, you were -- i saw a clip, and i knew you were coming, so i wanted to save it for you. >> uh-oh. >> jimmy: you were in england, what -- like, last year? >> yeah, yeah. a couple weeks ago. >> jimmy: and this happened there. >> oh, geez. i hope -- what happened, what
happened? >> jimmy: this penalty. >> oh, oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, have you -- i know david beckham is a friend of yours. did he phone you about that? >> yeah, you know, that was one of them british soccer balls, man, you know? >> jimmy: we don't kick balls in america. we throw them. >> we throw, yeah. >> jimmy: as god intended. >> yeah, no, that was pretty bad. i was in front of my son and the whole -- yeah, it was pretty bad. and was like "ah!" that was tragedy. it was a tragedy. >> jimmy: have your kids ever watched "the fresh prince of bel-air"? is that something, like, they would sit and look at? >> yeah, you know, they have seen them all, you know, but it's like, it's kind of hard for them to see their dad that way, you know? but willow liked it and, you know, my oldest son, trey, really liked it. so you know, it was a little strange, but -- >> jimmy: do you still have any of those clothes? did you hang on to any of that stuff? >> you know, i wish i had. i wish i had, because that style
is coming back around now, you know? you see people with the fade cuts and all of that stuff, but yeah. i saw an episode, and i don't know how this happened, but i had a half shirt on. like, what? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's the madonna years. >> i was like, whoa, man. how the hell? what the hell? dude, i had a half shirt. that was like tragedy. [ laughter ] oh, man. >> jimmy: there's something else i've been saving i want to show you. >> oh, come on, man. >> jimmy: i don't think this is embarrassing. but there's a religious show in the united kingdom, and there are people that make crank calls to this show, and this is the best one. >> someone has written a story here. it's a long one. it says, i'm a nearly born again christian. i would like to share my story of salvation with you. i was born in west philadelphia and also raised there. i spent most of my days playing basketball on the playground, but also chilling out and relaxing. but then one day, a couple of
guys who were up to no good started making trouble in my living area. i ended up getting into a fight, which terrified my mother. as a result, she sent me away from west philadelphia to the most peaceful area of bel air. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and he answered it, too. >> that's hilarious. that's hilarious. that's funny. >> jimmy: that's your legacy. >> that's funny. that's funny. >> jimmy: now, this movie, "after earth," opened at number three, which for you, is just -- most people are excited to be number three. that's not a good number for you. >> yeah, here's how i think i me i mean, let's be honest. three is the new one. >> jimmy: is that right? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's really good news for me. >> yeah. i mean, do you know how many ones it takes to make a three? [ laughter ] oh, man, that was tragic. i was like -- i was sitting at home, because, you know, you get
the information, moment by moment, like, every hour, somebody's calling. and telling you. i was like, uh-oh. you know, it's like, i felt like a fighter, you know? it's like it's been almost, like, two decades, since i had a movie that wasn't number one. >> jimmy: is that true? >> yeah. >> jimmy: two decades of number one? ks.well, that's over now, buddy. [ laughter ] i was like -- you know, i felt like, you know, like a fighter. i felt like i was the champ and i was walking to the ring, you know. >> jimmy: like manny pacquiao. then all of a sudden, out of nowhere -- >> yeah, and i was like -- >> jimmy: it happens every once in a while. but i'm very excited. i don't know if you're excited about it. >> yes, i will have a chinese chicken salad, um -- it was a mess. it was a tragedy. >> jimmy: what i am very excited about, a project we worked on together. >> yes, you know. >> jimmy: this is something that i had been chasing you around to do for a long time, and it's something that i wrote and directed myself, and you were nice enough to be a part of it. >> i was very happy to work with
you on the project. >> jimmy: and since we had this big show, it would be a good time -- >> oh, good. you have the trailer? >> jimmy: yeah, to premier the trailer for our new film together. >> yes. >> jimmy: will smith. take a look. >> they said it was impossible. they told him he would never make it. >> let's do this. >> but one man dared to dream. [ whistle blows ] [ audience gasps ] >> no one said it would be easy. >> goal tend! >> what? on who? >> on him. >> that's a gatorade jug! >> play ball! >> hey, coach, it's not fair. >> you know what's not fair? being born without sight.
[ whistle blows ] >> foul! foul! foul! >> one man helped him discover that anything is possible. >> you know, maybe they're right. maybe a blind man can't be a referee. >> you can do this. now get out there and do your job. >> you're right. i can do this. you are the you are the best friend i have ever had. [ laughter ] you're not here anymore. okay. >> the true vision lies within. [ whistle blows ] >> foul! [ cheers and applause ] traveling! [ cheers and applause ] charge! double dribble! three seconds! [ cheers and applause ] goal! goal! goal! goal! >> and fate would put him to the ultimate test. >> and with the lakers up four
and the championship on the line all three referees just had fatal heart attacks. >> this game is now ref-less. >> hey! hey! is anybody a trained ref around here? >> this summer, a basketball story that will move you like no other. >> it's your time. make us proud. >> your eyes are blind, but your heart can see. >> thank you, mister -- ah -- world peace. >> let's do this. >> let's do it! i'm sorry. >> i was excited, excited, excited. >> will smith is -- >> foul! >> hey, ref! what are you, blind? >> yes. i am. >> "blind ref." >> high five. sorry. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i see an academy award. will smith, everybody!
thank you very much. >> thank you. >> thank you, thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: all right. we'll see you later. he's leaving. >> thank you. >> jimmy: go see "after eart.'s. normally, i would, uh -- we'd have a commercial break right now, but we don't have to do that tonight. so, i think it's time to get to the moment we've all been looking forward to. this little boy is titus ashby, known around the world as "trick shot titus." titus became a youtube sensation, making shot after shot and tonight, he faces one of the great players of all time. [ cheers and applause ] if you like basketball and babies, you are in for a treat. we're about to find out what happens when a 2-year-old basketball phenom squares off against a 41-year-old nba legend. please welcome 15-time all-star and four-time nba champion shaquille o'neal! [ cheers and applause ]
all right. now, shaq's opponent, accompanied by his father, joseph, the pride of derby, kansas -- trick shot titus ashby! [ cheers and applause ] how you doing? now, i'd like to make the introductions. titus, this is shaq. that's shaq. there you go. >> shaq, this is titus. and it is time now for clash of the titus. >> clash of the titus! brought to you by state farm. >> jimmy: gentlemen, take your places. each hoop is set exactly at each shooter's height. shaq's rim towers at 7'1", titus' at 3'0". titus is going to shoot from six feet away -- shaq from 18 feet.
gentlemen, you will each have 30 seconds, and when i say "gentlemen," i mean "baby." [ laughter ] who wants to go first? shaq, you can pick. you want titus to go first. titus, you want to go first? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay, great. here we go. >> [ talking indistinctly ] >> jimmy: all right. let's get titus and joseph on the spot. cousin sal will be officiating. shaq, come on over here. shaq, no blocking. >> jimmy: no foolishness. and here we go. >> 30 seconds. >> jimmy: let's put 30 seconds on the clock, and when the whistle blows, you start shooting, titus, okay? >> ready. get ready. >> jimmy: and here we go. >> let's go, titus! [ cheers and applause ] >> nice and easy. nice and easy. all right. you can make it.
>> keep going! >> jimmy: wow! nice job! the ultimate indignity. >> up here. >> jimmy: and here we go. it is time now. gentlemen, take your places. shaq, i will be feeding balls to you. please do not eat them. [ laughter ] shaq, you, too, will have 30 seconds. you have to beat titus' score of eight. do you feel ready to do this? >> of course. >> jimmy: do you feel confident? >> of course. >> jimmy: all right. let's put 30 seconds on the clock. and, cousin sal -- [ whistle blows ] -- begin. [ cheers and applause ] here we go. just like the old days, right?
>> you got to give me a better pass! you got to give me a better pass! >> four, three, two, one! [ buzzer sounds ] >> jimmy: oh! not even close. >> nice job, buddy. >> jimmy: we have a winner. titus wins. congratulations. and shaq, i believe you have a gift for titus, true? titus, shaq has a gift for you. are you ready for a present? and here it is -- his shoe. you can go boating. i mean, you name it. right. thank you, shaq. thank you, titus. [ cheers and applause ]
sorry, i was just checking out your phone. that's the galaxy s4 right? yeah, i just got it. did your video just pause on its own? yeah, it does that every time you look away from the screen. and that's a big screen too. is that that phone you answer by waving your hand over it? yeah. is it? am i doing it right? someone has to call you first. well, give me your number, i'll call you. yeah, give him your number. c'mon. buy a gs3 or gs4 and get $100 off any 10 inch samsung tablet. exclusively at verizon.
>> jimmy: thanks for all the clapping. that was a fun night, right? we had -- will smith was rapping here during the commercial break. it's unbelievable what goes on. thanks to will smith. i want to thank john krasinsky. i want to thank shaquille o'neal and little titus, too. we have our new show at our regular time tonight with jonah hill, the national spelling bee champ, music from lonely island with alanis morissette, and "the baby bachelor," episode three. thank you for watching. stay tuned for game one of the nba finals on abc. good night